Strange to say, but I have absolutely no idea what started she and I to arguing. That part of it never stuck with me. It wasn't the important part. What comes next is. I am around 5'11'". I'd guess her height at 5'2". At the time I weighed 175-180 lbs. She might have gone 120, but probably less. It was just the two of us, standing face to face in the bedroom she shared with her boyfriend. She was spitting mad, screaming in my face, poking me - shoving me. I felt the anger wash over me, coming in like a high tide. My face got red as my blood began to boil. I shouted a few obscenities, but her tendency to argue took over and she wasn't hearing a word I said. She continued screaming at me and as I felt the spray of spittle hit my face, and the finger she was jabbing into my side, I had had enough. I raised my fist. I was done with this, and she was going down.
I need to take a moment to thank my parents and my older brothers for raising me into the man I am. When I was a young boy, it was made very clear that you do not ever yell at mom. You do not sass her, disrespect her, call her names, or move to do anything physical against her. My brothers were tough, fighting each other in the middle of the street, chasing each other around the block, and scaring the living hell out of their much younger brother. None of them ever made a move toward mom. She was untouchable. You simply did not do that to a woman.
Thankfully, that has always stuck with me. What happened next in my old apartment was a result of that upbringing. I did not strike the young lady in question. In fact, I didn't say another word. When I realized what I was about to do, I dropped my arms to my sides and began to cry. I was sobbing and shaking like a baby. The argument was over, and we talked things out a couple of hours later when we had calmed down.
If you've been following the news out of the NFL, then I'm sure you know what brought me to write this. I have no doubt that there are plenty of men out there who think that some women bring physical abuse down on themselves. I'm sure that there have been occasions when a man was going to get his eye scratched out or something similar if he didn't do something physical to stop a woman from doing major damage. But I'm not here to make excuses for wife/girlfriend beaters. I'm here to tell you to stop yourself if you get in this kind of situation. Real men do not hit women. I am a feminist supporter. I believe that women, in most cases, are better human beings than men. They live longer, they have more capacity to care and love, and they rarely resort to violence. That said, women are physically weaker than men. I don't mean it as a slight to women. It is simply scientific fact that the average man is stronger, by far, than the average woman. I am a somewhat sedentary 49 year old man. I could probably best 90 percent of all women in the world physically, even at my age. Please don't take that as a challenge ladies. We're just built differently.
To any men out there reading this: Please please please do yourself a favor. If you get into a situation like I did so long ago, get away from it, however you can. Curl up in a ball if you have to. Just don't fight back. It's not worth it. Not ever.
